19-year-old raises family car insurance by refusing to complete online driver's ed, dad docks his allowance by $13 a month: 'I'm invoking a natural consequence'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2025 9:00 PM EST
a man wearing a black backwards cap and sunglasses drives a car during the daytime

Parenting doesn't always get easier as kids get older.

While many will focus on the sleepless nights and tantrums of early childhood when it comes to the struggles that parents face, it could be argued that the issues that they come up against when their kids are older are just as impactful. Once children become teenagers, it is a parent's responsibility to prepare them for the adult world—right at the time when many kids want to pull away from the influence of their family.

How much support should be offered to teenagers and young adults by their parents is something that everyone seems to have a different opinion on. Some are militant about cutting the apron strings as soon as they turn 18, and others feel like it is more of a gradual process. When it is done bit by bit, there can be crises over how it can be handled appropriately. 

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  • an older man frowns as he sits down and looks at a laptop
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Money is one of the biggest issues that many parents struggle with as their kids get older. It can be a struggle to make the transition from financially supporting them to encouraging that vital independence. 

    In this story, a man wondered if he was teaching his teenage son the wrong lesson after he docked his monthly allowance by the exact amount that his car insurance had gone up because the teen had refused to complete the online portion of his driver's ed. The dad felt that it was a simple demand, but his son thought it was pointless, leading the insurance to be raised by $13 a month. He thought that he should face consequences for his refusal, but he didn't want to be petty.

  • AITA for docking my son's allowance the amount he made my premium go up?

    I (50M) just switched insurance companies to try and save money because I've instituted a monthly budget to stop our overspending in our family of 5 (48F, 19M, 16F, 13F and 5 cats).
    via Doc_Woody
  • The new insurance company asked for 19M's Drivers Ed Completion Certificate. I contacted the company who said he cannot get the certificate because he skipped the online portion.
    via Doc_Woody
  • My son passed the in class and road tests but has an "objection to online drivers ed because it's pointless." I explained that no matter how pointless it feels, it was a term of our contract with them and he broke it, and the result is that my insurance is $13 a month more than it would have been had he completed the course.
    via Doc_Woody
  • a black calculator and a jar full of dollar bills
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I still give him an allowance and I've reduced it by that $13 a month because I hold him 100% responsible for not completing his course, which cost $715 by the way.
    via Doc_Woody
  • Am I the asshole? Am I being petty for nickeling and diming a young man and shaking him down to help pay my bills?
    via Doc_Woody
  • My other options included just to take him off my policy and forbid him to drive at all, or make him reimburse me the $715 i paid for his drivers ed.
    via Doc_Woody
  • I didn't do any of that. I think i'm invoking a natural consequence based on real world impact and not vengeance.
    via Doc_Woody
  • It's literally one less Mary Browns 3-piece Combo per month.
    via Doc_Woody
  • a man wearing a black backwards cap and sunglasses drives a car during the daytime
    via nick jenkins

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • NTA. nwood 1973 If it were me, I would have presented the options to him 1) Pay the extra premium 2) Repay the drivers ed as he didn't finish it 3) Not drive any of your vehicles I am quite sure he will either take the remaining drivers ed or pay the $13!
    via nwood1973
  • Jesiplayssims Uhm, why is a 19 yr old adult getting an allowance? Unless, is he going to school full time? In this case, he definitely owes the money back, but why are you paying for his insurance at all?
    via Jesiplayssims
  • ironchef8000 You're wrong for considering this "nickeling and diming" or shaking him down. This is called being an adult. He has responsibilities. Privileges cost money. Actions have consequences. NTA by a long shot.
    via ironchef8000
  • NTA indicatprincess He can do a what, 5-9 hour course and be done with it and learn something....or he can pay for breaking the deal. I'd cut the allowance. It's probably not in the budget, and it's probably bets for him to start paying his own bills. He'd appreciate money more if he was wasting his own money
    via indicatprincess
  • Zueter Giving a 19 year old an allowance is the real reason your son is acting like an entitled child. Because you are treating him like an entitled child. Honesty, shame on you for not raising an adult
    via Zueter
  • 27 Aces Your adult son gets an allowance? How about you stop giving him an allowance and he won't make stupid independent decisions. The young man is nickel and dimeing you, not the other way around.
    via 27Aces
  • MrsClaus 1022 I would tell your baby boy to get a freakin job. He's 19 not 11. Come on dude. Over 13$? Why is he getting an allowance as an adult? Be so for real right now. He can pay his own insurance in full like a grown ass man.
    via MrsClaus1022
  • whoopsonu Why is a 19 year old getting an allowance? lol
    via whoopsonu
  • ShenDraeg A 19 year-old with an allowance? Make him get a job to pay for what he owes.
    via ShenDraeg
  • Mrminecrafthimself My parents stopped paying us allowance when we got our driver's licenses. The expectation was that if we were old enough to drive, we were old enough to have a part time job. Honestly having a job provided us freedom because we had more cash than we would've on an allowance, and we had vehicles so we could drive to do things with friends. NTA - I wouldn't be paying him an allowance at all. He should have his own insurance anyway
    via Mrminecrafthimself

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